Let the games begin.

Dating in 2016.  Oh boy!  I’d forgotten how daunting this was.  The studying of profiles, making sure you know the basics (if they’ve not lied about them!  Yes, it happens.)  A bit like preparing for a job interview.  And in a way it is.  You’re essentially interviewing a person to see if they fit the ‘job vacancy’ in your life.

There’s the family background to get around, the current family/living situation, children (if any), last relationship endings and when, world travels, schooling, work – past and present………the list is endless.

How much can you glean from their profile alone and should you ask for more details before you meet?  How involved do you want to get before you lay eyes on someone for the first time?  If they’re good looking (in whatever why that is for you – everyone is different) you might instantly take to them and you may want more backstory from them to build them up in your imagination.  Fair enough, but dangerous.

What if when you meet they suddenly fall-short of your expectations for one reason or another?  How disappointing that can be (yes I’ve been there and done that).  But my curious nature demands that I know partially what I might be getting into before I decide to meet them.  Mostly I’m looking for things I know I can’t live with; abusive to a former partner (not that they’re likely to tell you); no children or pets and hates them, a criminal record (major not minor like locked in the clink for drunk and disorderly or shop lifting at age 15), stuff like that.  I don’t care how many times you’ve been married, in my age group it is at least once if not twice.  I’m good with that.  It at least proves that you are willing to try to commit.

So.  I’ve done it.  I bit the bullet and went on a few dates.

Three very different guys, three very different personalities (at least no one can accuse me of sticking to a ‘type’!)  One very shy and reserved, one vivacious and quick to smile, the third a thinker but not too serious (thank goodness).  What a way to practice my social skills once again.  Thank you to those gentlemen for your presence and attention for the hour or more that we shared.

For a fortnight after those dates I went back into my shell and turned a blind eye to men.  Meeting new people had opened the old wounds slightly, let in the self-doubt and let out the self-love.  Oh how I cried before that very first date.  Why?  A thousand reasons and feelings and emotions.  If you’ve been there yourself, you’ll know what I’m talking about.  If you haven’t, count yourself lucky.

Another month on again and the world is my oyster.  I spent an exhausting and confusing Friday evening messaging five different guys.  This I do not recommend.  Not only can you wind up asking someone a question about something they don’t do (one kind soul chose to ignore me when I asked what he was studying at uni……….because he doesn’t study anything at uni!  Seriously!  What a blonde I am.)  But you can end up with several dates, all of whom have piqued your interest in one way or another and what the hell happens when you’ve met all three and liked them all equally??!!  No can do.

Multi-dating is not my thing.  I like to give one person my full attention until I decide one way or the other if we will see each other again or not.  Then only if we are not meeting again will I call up the next guy.  Yep, there’s the possibility of someone dropping off your radar while he waits for you to decide on the first guy.  And perhaps that second guy is ‘the one’, what then?  Well, it’s all about timing.  Some call it fate.

Well, if it is fate, then I leave myself in your hands.  Cue first ‘serious’ date of 2016.  Yes I’ve built him up in my mind slightly.  Yes there is an initial attraction from the photos I’ve seen.  But borrowing some words he said to me recently, I am going in with ‘no expectations but high hopes’.

So much for using marathon training as a distraction………..the chance of finding future love has got to be by far the biggest distraction ever in the human race – am I wrong?   With a bit of luck, planet alignment, fate and genuine human connection, I may find a new future love just the distraction to get me through my marathon training – because right now I am wondering how on earth does anyone ever survive such a grueling schedule and body beating??!!!

I hurt.  But finally, in a good way.