What’s on your mind?

This morning as I looked at that invitation on Facebook I felt I just had to respond.

Everything is on my mind Facebook, everything! And everything is on everyone else’s minds too!! And it’s driving me batshit crazy!!!!! 

Instant gratification. 

Instant feedback.

Reaffirmation.

Instant messaging. 

FOMO – fear of missing out.

Binge watching/streaming.

Pod casts.

On-line shopping. 

Express delivery.

Fast food.

Get rich quick schemes (not a new concept but belongs here).

Doesn’t anyone let themselves enjoy the feeling of anticipation anymore??  I’d also go so far as to ask if the last couple of generations even know what anticipation is?…..or will ever know?

Call me old fashioned, but is this the new age version of keeping up with the Joneses?! If it is, I want no part of it!

Is it any wonder a lot of folk are exhausted, angry, have anxiety and panic attacks, are dead broke, overweight, self-indulgent, self-centered, know-it-all-over-sharer’s? Isn’t anybody equipped with the skills to hold a good old fashioned conversation, or read a book in silence, word for word any more? Do we have to tell everyone everything all of the time?

Am I a dying breed of old school folk? I feel like I am this week. In the last 10 days alone, I have had two tv shows ruined by people who just HAD to tell me what happened next!  I have had to change radio stations because they talk about a show that was on the night before and I haven’t watched the episode yet. Oooh! Or how about…. “You’d love this book, it’s about blah, blah, blah, now you don’t need to read it”. Ugh! Spoiler alert anyone? *eye roll* C’mon!! Shut up already!

Personally, I enjoy the anticipation. I do not feel the need to know everything right now, or ever. If a tv show finishes, I like to bask in the glow of happy endings, or sit in the knowledge and feeling of sad or unexpected outcomes. I don’t care if one of the actors is actually gay, or is having an affair with such-and-such, either on the show or outside of it. Please, I implore you, just let me enjoy the story that was told! Or is being told, and for the love of my sanity and your physical safety, PLEASE DO NOT tell me the ending!!!

If I recommend a book or show to you, I will NOT tell you about it before you watch or read it, if you even bother to watch or read it! This in itself should be an indication of my expectations if you recommend one to me. Feel free to tell me the genre, but don’t give me a blow-by-blow account thanks. We can discuss it when we are both at the same point in the story.

It’s sad that we are losing our ability to communicate, our ability to enjoy and anticipate other people’s company and point of view without having had someone else’s enforced on them first, not forming our own opinions. It seems that any conversation or post on social media is just a way of trying to get one-up on everyone else. It’s almost like thumbing your nose at your “friends” and saying, look what I know/who I know/what I’m doing/what I did/what I’m going to do, I’m better than you, so there!

Why do we feel the need to have constant, and instant, feedback from others about every little thing or thought? Is it justification we’re good people, special people, doing the right thing? Is it that we want to be seen to be doing what all the cool kids are doing? Could it be our ego saying, “Hey, I’m better than you because I’m slimmer, stronger, faster, richer, happier than you”? Do we need to be seen to have “permission” that we are embarking on a worthy journey? That our opinion is always the right opinion and everyone else is wrong?

I consider myself to be a shy and private person on the whole. I tend not to pipe-up and post my opinions for the world to see unless absolutely pushed to do so – and this morning was the final straw on ruining one of my favourite tv shows. I’d be the first to admit that I certainly am not perfect. I have posted in the past to get some reassurance on something I’m thinking of doing or to tell my story as I experienced it, hopefully with modesty and humility (and a fair amount of humour, since life is way too serious most of the time). I don’t want any special attention or congratulations, I prefer to try to let others experience the journey with me, like they were there. To give the experience to someone who will never be able to partake in whatever it is for reasons such as financial limitations, life commitments or physical ability.

I hate show-offs, snobs, arrogant, cocky, loud, in-your-face, judgemental, lazy, controlling, rude, obnoxious people. I will generally back-down and stay silent if I’m faced with any of these. Unfortunately, social media platforms allow people to be all of these things, from a distance, protected by the so-called “right to free speech” and to have the bravado to do so because it’s online and not face-to-face. Would you say and be such an ugly version of yourself if you were in touching distance of the person, and had to look them in the eye when you said it? No? Then don’t bloody say it online!!!

I’ve digressed, slightly. Technology is not our friend when it comes to personal relationships. Keep it real people. LISTEN. HEAR. Use your manners. Respect others. Have a back and forth conversation, not a game of one-upmanship. BE KIND.

Don’t spoil things for other people. Get back in your box, stay in your lane, stop bursting my bubble and don’t ruin the ending!

Not everyone wants instant gratification.